April 1, 2024 – Metairie, Louisiana: - In a world where emojis reign supreme, the Louisiana Restaurant Association (LRA) is taking a bold stand against a grave injustice: the glaring absence of an etouffée emoji. In recent years, we've witnessed a disturbing trend across every variety of smart device: the proliferation of emojis for everything from sushi to spaghetti, yet no representation for the beloved etouffée. This egregious oversight has left Louisiana cuisine languishing in the digital dark ages, deprived of the recognition it so richly deserves. "A mandatory, state-wide keyboard lockdown has been issued," declares Stan Harris, President and CEO of the Louisiana Restaurant Association. "For too long, Cajun cuisine has been relegated to the sidelines of emoticon development, while lesser dishes bask in the glow of digital fame. The deliberate exclusion of a time-honored entree will not stand, and we are calling for immediate action from the tech titans of Silicon Valley to rectify this outrageous oversight. I’m dead serious." Exhaustive research and excessive text chains have concluded that emojis play a crucial role in shaping cultural perceptions and fostering modern-day communication. By flagrantly omitting the etouffée emoji, tech companies are sending a clear message that Louisiana cuisine is somehow unworthy of representation in the digital realm. "We're not just fighting for a graphic the size of a grain of rice," clarifies a spokesperson for the LRA. "We're fighting for the soul of Cajun cuisine and the cultural heritage it represents. It's time for these condescending coders to recognize the importance of a savory symphony of seafood, spice, and the essence of Louisiana’s bayou bounty, by immortalizing it as a fun little picture to keep the correspondence cute.” In response to this culinary outrage, the LRA has launched a national campaign to raise awareness about the plight of this beloved delicacy and mobilize support for its rightful place in the emoji pantheon. From social media blitzes to petition drives, our mission will be to rally supporters far and wide to join the crusade. Our cries for inclusion will ring out from bayou to boulevard and our voices shall be heard, demanding that the tech overlords get with the program and send out a software update featuring the vibrant etouffée emoji that we have long been denied! No roux will be left unstirred in this quest for equality; in other words, we will totally call for congressional support if the California geek squad refuses to play ball. So, to all the tech giants out there, we have one simple message: add a poboy while you’re at it. Embrace the rich tapestry of Louisiana cuisine and give it the recognition it deserves or prepare to face the wrath of the Cajun nation. For media inquiries, please contact: Fox 8’s Lee Zurik
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